The Polar Express.1. 10/7/06 - Me and Kim went down to Union Square/NYU area to escape from the deathly, stale intellect of Morningside Heights. On the way the lights on the subway train fizzles out, leaving us in pitch black as we rush toward 14th street. When the lights come back on, I'm paralyzed in fear, the guy across from me is laughing, probably at me, and so is Kim, fondly saying, "I was laughing because I knew you'd be freaking out." Once we leave the subway, though, we find ourselves on 7th Avenue. Kim loudly says, "Okay, why the fuck are we on 7th Avenue?" and some old guy bumming around outside the station says, "Where you girls trying to get to?' to which we reply, "Union Square?" He points us in the right direction, thankfully. Just as we're about to cross the street we almost get run over by a loud, red tourist bus filled with washed out tourists with their cameras.
East Village melee.2. 10/7/06 - Same trip, other random things: I donate to charity for the first time in my life - I gave a dollar to some dude who wanted money "for the homeless", because he was selling stickers that said "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK". "Oh, not a million dollars?" he said, when I gave him a dollar and he gave me a sticker. The sticker is now affixed to my laptop cover, so that people who sit opposite me in the airport know that I think poorly of mean people. Just ahead some homeless woman bundled up in several layers is cursing as she veers from side to side down the crowded sidewalk in front of Filene's Basement and Forever 21, and hitting herself in the head. Somehow even though there's a square inch per person as it is on that sidewalk, everyone manages to avoid her.
No, I do not like stand-up comedy.3. 10/21/06 - Three random things happen on the trip to our favorite neighborhood restaurant, Crepes on Columbus. The first one started out normally - some guy gave us coupons for "stand-up comedy". I think that's one of the first things you learn about living here in Morningside Heights. There's some crazy persistent comedy clubs that send messenger boys out to attack people with advertisements, all starting with the phrase, "Hey, do you like stand-up comedy?" Usually people just look at them bewildered, though I've started saying, "not that much." I was off my game tonight, because I took the coupons. After we passed him and kept walking, he was still speaking to us, even with our backs turned, finally saying, "I'll be there..." in a really low, slow, creepy voice that sounded like it was out of the Exorcist. That, by the way, is not standard stand-up advertising. Kim was urgently hissing, "cross the street, cross the street..." We later see him going into the bank. I threw the coupons away.
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you?4. 10/21/06 - While at dinner, we notice a cop car's sirens and flashing disco lights approach. They've pulled over a car, and are going over to it... right in front of us, since we're sitting right at the window. We both cheer because we want it to be an exciting drug bust or something. Unfortunately, no such luck - the two cops asked for title and registration, but the guys inside were cooperative, if a little confused, and after running a check on the paperwork, the cops went back to the car they pulled over, finished their talking-to, and left. Well, last year there was another random false alarm, when Kim and I happened to see some guy lying on the ground, sort of twitching, outside our dorm room on Broadway. We thought he had fallen - it was icy that night. A cop car pulled over, and discovered soon that he was drunk and/or a crazy homeless person, and started lifting him up, and he started walking completely fine.
5. 10/21/06 - On the way back from dinner, I'm yawning as we pass some happy guy leaving his apartment building. He sees me yawn and yawns too, then says, "Oh, you made me sleepy!" as we pass each other. I yell over my shoulder congenially, "sorry about that, man!" which is a little bit out-of-character for me.
I know we long for the days before Bush, but come on.6. 3/20/06 - Probably one of the most historically random days of my life. First the Swahili teacher at the SIPA Language Center said "You should change your name to Ever Smiling. Because you're always smiling and you're so happy and you have a beautiful smile." Mind you that I would have never suggested that for myself, because I don't think I ever smile, and I doubt I felt happy that day, as I have only recently decided that happiness is something that can come before the wild blue yonder that is the end of life. Then that evening as I was emerging from a stairwell one of the janitor ladies nearly ran me over with her trash cart, then proceeded to ask me if this crudely drawn picture on a piece of cardboard that she was carrying around - a picture of Bill Clinton - looks like the one on the magazine, which she held up in her other hand. "Uh, yeah," I mumbled, then hurried off.
7. 3/24/06 - I come to the conclusion today, somewhere between Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke and too much chocolate-caramel corn, that "my problems are so ridiculous that all I can do is laugh".
"String theory", supposedly.8. 3/29/06 - At the Radiology Center, I overhear a woman loudly, annoyingly snapping to someone on her cellphone about the miseries of her life. And to be fair, her leg is in a cast, but still! She decided that string theory is totally wrong, then said, "granted, I don't know anything about it". I thought to myself that it was a good thing I didn't bring the string theory book Fabric of the Cosmos that day.
1. Sees public, potentially alterable display. 2. Alters.9. 10/7/06 - Back to that Union Square trip. It was dark by the time we went home, regardless that we left in the middle of the day, and besides seeing ridiculous store signs and graffiti, we passed by a wet-cement area, taped off to make the public understand that it was not to be touched. A few in a pack of kids dives for it, instinctively, and instead of reining them back, the mother and the other responsible adults join in, making the other pack go for it too. At the end of the block we see a flashing cop car go zipping past us and are sure that it's gone ack to pick up the vandalizers. I came to the conclusion that night that while Chinese people love to stand around and watch fights, New Yorkers love to vandalize things. It's part of what makes this town.
